Carl Radke: Summer House, Getting Sober & Soft Bar

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Music.

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Hello and welcome to the Jann Arden podcast. We are here. We're together again. Sarah Burke is back in her Toronto abode. Caitlin green never left her her abode. She's been there anyway. We're back. And how was everything you were at the podcast Convention, which is a an avalanche of information, I would imagine,

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yeah. So there's three days of programming, and this part of this conference, because it happens twice a year, is more like sort of future of industry focused. So a lot of like talking about the future of the business of podcasting, and there's a lot of groups working together to fix kind of how we measure success, because there's a lot of vanity metrics out there, which is like anything else, right, if you think about social media. So it's always interesting to participate and learn about how we can better the industry.

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What's maybe one of your top takeaways of one thing that we can do to better the industry. Like, did you leave with something that was like, hmm, that's what we're gonna do, damn it, as it relates

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to to video. Because, as you know, like, we kind of got ourselves in this we treat video as a live environment here. We're not doing like a big video edit when you see us on YouTube, but it's very important to be there, because it is the second largest search engine, right? YouTube. When people go into YouTube, they'll be searching, how do I knit a sweater, versus the knitting sweater podcast, right? They're searching for something that's functional to what they want to learn about, usually, which is why it's so important to be there, and that's a different way than you would search in a podcast app, right? Yeah, it's one of the main referral methods in discovery, even though it doesn't mean that you have to have a video podcast. You know, I think people like seeing our reactions when we talk about things, but if someone's doing solo episodes and they're just static in front of a screen, that's not really a case for video. You can still do audio, but it's important for you to put your content somewhere in YouTube, even if it's short, so people can find you, and then they often go and subscribe in the podcast app.

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Yeah, I saw your comparisons with Spotify, and how people are watching on Spotify as opposed to watching on YouTube. I watch a lot of historical stuff on YouTube. I really love the platform. I find it really easy to navigate, and I think people talk about that all the time, of how easy YouTube is to operate,

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yes, and the algorithm in YouTube is quite healthy. Spotify announced a big video partnership program about six months ago, and there's a lot of data saying that they have not made any advancements in their competition with YouTube. So YouTube is still winning, which is why we're still

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here. Yeah, no, that's great. Hi, hi, YouTubers. Are you subscribing to us? Well, that's good. And Caitlin, you know, she and I did talk about if there was any hookups, convention hookups, that you were aware of, or if you met any cute fellas, or, I guess it's all work, really, right? A couple times, then you hit the Hey.

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I have a couple friends that live in other, you know, American cities. It's always nice to see them, and we definitely went to a blues bar and caught up. But those are my social highlights. You know, it's not falling in love with a geeky podcaster. I'd

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be remiss if I didn't ask you the going over the border experience. Oh

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yeah, you guys talked a bit about that with Caitlin's experience. Last week, I heard that I feel up to date, because I edited you guys. So it was fairly normal, fairly quick. The funniest thing guys, I didn't want to spend money on the American economy. I smuggled yogurt and blueberries and bananas all my brother got yourself killed. I got and it's funny because I was flying Porter, and the guy was like, that ice pack, it's for your medication, right? And he like, winked at me, and I was like, exactly. So he let me through with all my shit. Obviously, I didn't fly home with my ice pack, but, yeah, I made it work, because I didn't buy breakfast there once. I always had breakfast in my little fridge taken care of. Yeah,

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yeah. I think that's very, very smart. In fact, Chris, my Chris, my road manager, is on a scenic cruise. He did a cruise with Terry Clark that was, you know, really successful. She did a great concert. But he said, right away, he goes, I'm just, I'm getting all my stuff together while we're in a town I think they started in Zurich or near Zurich, and he went and bought protein shakes, yogurt, yeah, box of granola. And the funny thing is, I said, but everything's like, included on Scenic and he goes, I know, but it's not the stuff that I want. So I just, he says, I just feel good about having it in my mini fridge. So we took out all the booze, as you do, right? You just

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add a hot water to your coffees, versus, like, buying a $12 one downstairs in the bottom of the hotel. No,

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it is good. I love having my Yeti cooler with me when I'm traveling on the road, and I usually do breakfast and lunch out of that crazy cooler. And it stays, everything stays cold. I've got oat milk in there. I've got vegan cheese. I've got, you know, just stuff. It's so. Much easier than, can we find a subway? Can we go get Freshy? Like, sometimes it's just hard finding stuff.

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The one border guy This was going into Chicago at Midway Airport. I flew in the smaller airport. He was like, What are you here for? And so I'm not lying. I'm like, work. It's like, it's a conference. What kind of conference? A podcast, conference? He, like, laughed in my face. He's like, there's a conference for that. I was like, yes, ask all of these people in line behind me. And he's like, show me. So I, like, showed him the app. And then he was like, Okay, go ahead, nerdo. Like, he was like, calling me a nerd.

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I think it's really great that you go and I'm glad it wasn't too bad going over and I'm glad he laughed at you. So you guys, I just want to jump to the obvious thing here, White Lotus is, well, since it's it's airing its finale, I have not watched it as a no spoiler as of the recording day. I have not watched it, no spoiler alerts. But Sarah saying that it was a bit underwhelming, you would say is that your word don't even talk

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about it.

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For sure, be up watching I haven't had time.

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Okay, I didn't have time either. I'll have watched it by the end of day today. So I've, I've avoided the internet and social media because I know my algorithm knows that I watch White Lotus and it's gonna just continue to give me spoilers and memes, and so I'm avoiding all of it. Okay, guys,

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I did put out a white lotus post yesterday in Patreon, just to

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see what was the gist of that. Well, I

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just said, Do you have any comments on white lotus? I'm doing a scan right now to make sure there's no spoilers before I read it, and this seems pretty okay. And I said, and let us know if you have any questions for the show tomorrow. So we have a couple things here, if you want me to read a few. Yeah, yeah. Kylie wrote Hi. My highlight this weekend, besides the White Lotus finale, was being at a dance competition, watching the lyrical dance session and a group dance to Jan's hanging by a thread.

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Oh, God, the most depressing song in the world. Lyrical is appropriate

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for that. Though, of all the competitions I sat through, it was the first time I had heard a Jan song. It was a nice surprise. And yeah, I had a nice cameo from Jan from my March B day. And I'm enjoying the book club, definitely getting me out of my book comfort zone. Have a great week. Oh, wow, that's nice

7:13  
when I think about the the emotional scope of that song and what you could do with it. And I have seen one dance video before from So You Think You Can Dance quite a few years ago, and it made me cry, and not because of my song, because the dancing, how people move their bodies, in the ways that they move them, and they can emote like that. And you can literally, there's no language to it. It's just watching something doesn't doesn't matter if you're from Africa or Iceland, you can watch a dance piece and be struck in the exact same way and, and I do like that as a medium. I think it's pretty cool.

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Yeah, we got a lot of comments about supporting Canadians in many ways, like, I think I saw something about like, you know, Caitlin, and I maybe not meaning to support the American economy here, and then also with book bag and, well, we are pleased to have, we have a Canadian author for this next one. So we're going to talk a lot more about that in the weeks to come. But we're working on, we saw a

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lot of comments about me supporting the US economy well, but like, between

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the two of us traveling in the in the US, like it seemed like we saw someone mentioned that it seemed like we were, you know, going for fun. And

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yeah, I wasn't for all my friend lives there, yeah, yeah, I actually saw you responded

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to that person, so I think you saw the comment. But I was actually on a panel at the conference about Canadian opportunities and podcasting, so I was like, waving my wave the

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Canadian flag. You're listening to a Canadian podcast supporting all Canadian creators. So Jen, did you get your visa?

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Have you not heard about all this? My gig got canceled. Oh yeah, the company was a Canadian company. Yeah, this job was in Florida. It was in Miami. I was to leave today's recording on the seventh so I was to leave tomorrow, go to Toronto, sleep overnight in my condo, fly out on the ninth in the morning, meet Chris, do the job the 10th, and then fly back the 11th. But this company just said they didn't go into specifics, but they just said that they're going to not be holding the conference. I don't know how many delegates there was going to be, but I think there was obviously a lot of Canadian delegates. It was a Canadian company that were feeling a little uncomfortable going down. There might have been some issues with just how they felt about maybe they needed to get visas. I don't know. I can't imagine you having to get a visa to go and sit at a conference, so it was canceled, and I felt bad. I felt bad for the people who had hired me and all the work that they did leading up to this, because, as you know, those conferences, it's not like they do the stuff the day before, it's months and months and months of planning. So I felt bad for them, and I hope that they you. Know, do a reboot. I hope that this stuff does get sorted out. I mean, right now, the entire world is losing trillions of dollars, it seems like every single day on the stock market, and which I don't understand at all. And obviously not an economist, although I've slept with one. No, I haven't I, I'm making that up. But yeah, I so, yeah, I'm not going. And I did get the visa. So about 10 days ago, it came through. And I'll remind everyone again, it was over 3000 US for each Chris and I, and we do not get that back. Damn. That's that's done. What can I do? There's bigger problems in the world, and that's the cost of doing business sometimes. But yeah,

10:41  
yeah, it'll be, I mean, the, like, the economy, oh my gosh. And, I mean, it was such so top of mind when I was down there, obviously amongst everyone being like, how will the tariffs affect everything in our lives as people who are living in the US with the cost of, like, day to day goods? Because I do think the campaign by maybe the Democrats, but certainly by the Canadian government, because they were buying giant billboards in parts of the US to say that a tariff is a tax on you, like you pay it. It's not going to be the other countries. It's going to be they're trying to educate them, aren't they, and I think a bit of it worked, because, you know, they were anticipating that bananas were going to be a fortune because of all these tariffs against Peru, which is the primary source of bananas in the US and all these things that have been very closely tied together with the trade agreements that we've had in place for decades, I think people started to kind of like they're freaking out. I would imagine that that sentiment has only been amplified.

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Case in point, all the protests that happen in so many American cities, I think it was yesterday. People are getting it. People are getting

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they are and, I mean, you even see Elon is like, giving interviews where he's breaking, you know, messaging. And of course, he is, I think he's also, what, like $300 billion or

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something like that. I don't even know

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he's on his way out too. I mean, for sure, everyone's alluding to that. I think they can't help but be very, very aware of the millions and millions of people that over this past weekend. Like I said, we're recording this on the seventh millions of Americans were in the streets, on in every city, there was one that was very, very kind of heart crushing. In Detroit, they were using megaphones to yell across to Windsor at Canadian also holding up they were holding up signs. They were going USA. They were, and it was to support people who are suffering because of these tariffs and because of the policies. You know, they're wiping out the Board of Education, and they're, they're just doing things with people's pensions and people's life savings. Now, obviously, when you talk about tariffs, a lot of people because of and I will claim ignorance on this too. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I understand the intricacies of that, but I know that my friend, one of my dear friends, who's retired last year, is drawing on her portfolio. And what I mean by that is that she has invested a lot of years and a lot of money into, you know, the stock market. And there's a way of, you know, whether it's $1,000 a month or whatever people can afford. And it's really, really scaring the shit out of her, because her guy is telling her, if you don't have to draw this month, I recommend you don't, because she's lost money across the board. Everyone has, everyone's

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portfolio has taken a hit. You look at the wealthiest people in the US, and if the wealthiest people in the US are taking a loss, the only guy who's out on top is Warren Buffett. I mean, he just moved everything around, and he's invested everything in gold, and he's holding cash, and he, I don't know this guy's an Oracle. He must have seen it coming. So he's the only one who's fine, but everyone else is losing a ton of money. I don't even want to look at my portfolio right now. I'm not going to. There's just no point. Everyone is going to be in this destabilizing roller coaster, which we already I feel like just experienced yesterday from the pandemic, the economic fallout, the amount of debt the government's racked up the you know, if you thought our supply chains were delicate before this is going to really change things. So the question is, Will Trump and his team take any off ramps that are presented to them? That's what everyone's hoping for. Will that happen? Nobody knows, but yeah, I was really I felt like I left my time in the US, feeling like the US citizens were more that I at least encountered, were more aligned with Canadians than ever. And I really was like, this is the thing that could get him. It's not letting the divisiveness that, you know, the anti us, anti Canada, like, do not get it twisted. Canadians and Americans are so similar. We have such a great, amazing history of friendship, and we will get back there, because there is really very little desire on the part of the average US citizen to see this through they don't the

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Ubers. Oh my god, the Uber drivers you get in. Hey, where y'all from Canada? We're so sorry. You know we love you. We love you guys. It was I heard when I was editing last week. I was like, I had the same experience, I think two Uber drivers I had. I was close to inviting them into the restaurant for people. So I love them so much. Like, I know,

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yeah, Americans and Canadians move this current administration aside, or any political stuff that's happened in the last however many years, Canadians and Americans get along like, we are not far apart, and we've been neighbors, and we've followed them into battle and like, they get it. They don't understand turning on the heels that the US government has done to us like they don't they don't get it. So I think that makes me feel good about where this could go. And the weekends protest, even though, did you guys see a lot of it on your socials and on your feet? Or did you feel like it was kind of quiet, or

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I had so much protest on my feed, it was okay, too. It really depends on your algorithm. What you're liking, what you're not liking. I get so much feminist stuff. I get so much human rights stuff. I get so much that's every second thing that I looked at was protests, massive protests, because I had so

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many friends say like they weren't seeing it, and I'm seeing some. But if you're hitting

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makeup tutorials all the time, folks, I'm sorry you're not going to get those feeds. So don't blame media about things like this, because it is absolutely not the truth. You know how social media works, and you know that you follow very, very good friends, and you have to go searching for them. You're like, Oh, what happened to Tina? I haven't seen any good shit for two months. And then you go, hit Tina. She's got 60 posts. You have not seen one of them, so I'll tell you right now, if you're doing like I said, if you're hitting monkeys and orangutans and all that stuff, which I do too, like, and you've got to respond, not only like, but you have to hit a comment.

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That's how it save it, or save the post,

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anything. So before I'm not I know I sound a little irritated by that, but I do get that it's because of how you curate your social media. So Buyer beware. Anyway, we don't have a ton of time because we have a fantastic guest today, Caitlin. I'm going to go over to you because Caitlin is such a pop culture expert, and we really rely on her for so, so much entertainment stuff. And you've got, always got your ear to the ground, which is so impressive that, along with a whole bunch of other things, you know what's going on in the world, it's always very impressive. But this, this man, is part of a reality show called Summer House. I will hand this over to you. Tell us who our guest is today. Jan's like,

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and that's all I can tell you about that one. No, I mean, I'm joking. I'm joking. But you know, this is i, this is the well that I would typically poison with reality TV info. So, yeah, it's a, it's a guy named Carl Radke, and he has been on a very successful Bravo show called Summer House for a long time, ever since it started, which was, I think, in 2017 and the concept is a group of Manhattan up and coming, sort of young professionals, many of whom are single. What they do is common in New York City, where they will share a house in the Hamptons or outside of the city, called a share house for the summer. They all share the cost. They go there every weekend, work during the week, party on the weekend, and they put a camera crew and cameras in the rooms of this house, and they film them partying exactly Jan like they film them like drinking and fighting and laughing and getting along, but also maybe sleeping together. Yeah, lots of night vision cameras. So anyways, he's been on the show for a long time, and this guy, like he has just gone through it. He lost his brother to a drug addiction. He himself has gotten sober on the show because he was in a really tough place, which he details very intensely in his chat with Jan. And I, I mean, he goes there, he will tell you about lots of people will say they will cop to drinking alcohol, but very few celebrities will cop to using drugs. And he does talk about that, which I find impressive. And watching him navigate it so honestly and from such a place of vulnerability on the show is really kind of unique and sort of why I thought he would be a good introduction to the world of Bravo, especially for Jan. Like Jan, I knew you and him would connect, and you would be able to get there, and that he would, he would be willing to talk about his emotional journey. I was

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very surprised by his his right transparency and to tell you the truth. And as you listeners are in, you know, taking in this interview with Carl, I was a little bit anxious. He speaks very candidly about drug use, and I don't want to, I sit, I want to sit here and repeat all these things that he said to us. And when you do not hear Sarah's voice, know that she was in the States at the conference, we had to fit ourselves into a very tight Carl rack knee press junket. Literally, the white hook was coming out and pulling him out of our interview.

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And I will say, like, if you find talking about, like, you know, losing a loved one to addiction, or addiction stuff, if that's in any way sort of triggering for you, he does talk about that. So there's conversations around loss. Yeah. And but he goes through much more frivolous things as well on the show. And the show is, I don't want to make it sound like it's this heavy hitting drama, but it's obviously predominantly just people who are, like, partying and carrying on,

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very similar to what we do on this show.

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It's really honest. He, like, he just went through this horrible engagement like that ended, and it ended on the show, and now he's back in this share house with his former fiance, who was pregnant. Like, it's crazy stuff that happens on this show. And anyways, he has a really cool new bar that's coming out in it's a sober bar so far. It's called soft bar, which is a play, of course, on, like, hard bar being the term people use sometimes for alcohol, like, you know, vodka or whatever. So he has this new sober brand that he's launched. And I just, I don't know, you always kind of root for him. You root for him on the show, because you see him go through so much. There's

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a real warmth about him. And I so bad they wanted to set him up with Sarah. Oh,

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further ado. Let's get to the interview.

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Sarah, I thought about you so many times, because I know with you, like in drinking, you can take it or leave it. And I think this is a guy that does enjoy outdoor stuff. There was so many things I wanted to ask him that I was on my list, but yeah.

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And if you want to get into summer house like I have, then you definitely need to download the hey you app, because that's where all of my Bravo content lives, and it's a designated reality TV show app that you need.

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Well, we're going to be talking with the wonderful, very transparent, kick ass star, Carl Radke is coming up right after this break on the Jan Arden podcast.

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Listen. We have a fantastic guest this week, Caitlin. This is all on you. So thank you for bringing us this guy. He has spent countless hours in Caitlin's living room, and I say that very honestly and probably in yours too. He's been a key cast member of the hip Bravo reality series summer house since it began in 2017 he's an entrepreneur, a mental health advocate who kicks ass. He has been sober since 2021 just finished his ninth season, and is launching an alcohol free bar this year and and on top of everything else, has a memoir coming out in December, and we are absolutely thrilled to welcome Carl Radke to the genuine pod.

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Hi. Thank you, Jan. Thank you Caitlin. It's great to be here. It's

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amazing having you listen. What is the what's the biggest misconception Do you think fans of the show have about both you and the show itself

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that were rich, wealthy kids that are actors? And I mean, I'd like to perform, and I've acted before, but I mean, not all of us, some of us do have some family money, but for the most part, we're all hard working, work hard, play, hard, kids that just were crazy and like to have a good time. You know, we weren't acting or doing any of that. It's all organic. Everything you see is us being the way we are. So that's it's

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unbelievable, the vulnerability. And obviously, you know, Caitlin and I were talking about this before you came on, we were both saying, I don't know what it would be like to be involved in a production like this. I mean, you obviously forget about the cameras at some point. It's been so many years, they're just not there anymore. I would imagine, yeah, it's

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kind of like a fly on the wall. I mean, you, you understand, you're there, you know, there's, there's stuff going on, and you certainly kind of turn it up a little bit, you know, you know that you got to have be on a little bit more bring your energy up. But it's, honestly, it's a dream, and it's, I feel like it's a gift that I get to do what I get to do. So I'd love leaning in and just trying to be as happy as excited. And I think that also lends itself to better summer house. If you know your energy and you're more excited to be there, but you do get used to the cameras. But I think what people forget, too, is like, you're going through things in real time with the camera there. You know, it's like, this isn't like a planned thing, like, Carl's gonna go to lunch and this is gonna happen. Like, I'm going to lunch thinking one thing, and actually something else is actually happening, and you're there along for the ride, but then I'm watching it back eight months later, now with a different angle on it, or, you know, just it's told in a way that has more information or context. It's not the filming part of it's the reliving it, because it's eight months after and it's such a distorted kind of experience.

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You've been on the show since it launches. Launches in 2017 that's a lot of summers. That's a lot of Carl's to be on TV. How do you handle changing in your life? Like I know that I have friends and they'll know me at one point in my life, and I have a hard time like staying friends with them as I as I sort of grow and change. So how do you deal with that you're like you as a fan, probably know me as this. Carl, how can you move on from that while still being on TV? Like, can you get away from who you were? I mean,

24:48  
yeah, it's all made of me, who I am right now. I think it's, it would be weird if I didn't change, right? Like, if I stayed the same, it would be horrible, because, like, you're watching, like a i. Bad behaved, treating women terribly, making poor choices, not being the best version of myself. So if I don't change, I'm actually going to still lose friends anyway. So I'm with you on what you're saying, but I think it's only been natural. I, you know, I started the show when I was 29 so I was still growing and maturing. I was a late bloomer, you know, when I I didn't grow much until I turned 18, so I've just matured maybe a little bit slower. But I kind of grew up on the show in a way, you know. So I think each summer, you're kind of seeing me as a more refined or evolved version of the the year before. So I don't think it doesn't bother me if someone is expecting to be the same a hole I was in season three, four. If anything, I have a new opportunity to prove them wrong, because based on what they think of me, it's actually a way better version in real life or currently.

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Do you think being on TV expedites that process? You make an interesting point of the changes that you go through constantly. I mean, I would have nothing to compare it to, because I've never experienced what you're experiencing. But in your mind, do you think that it has sped up the process of growing up, of becoming a better version of yourself? Yes,

26:12  
100% I mean, I think, I don't think I realized it at the time, but every summer you're you're basically going into the summer and the things that you're being asked tough questions about your life or where you are in your life, whether it's your job, your career, your family, your relationships, and I think it's a mirror into your life, that if you use it or allow it to kind of come into your life in the right way, it actually can be very beneficial for me, personally, my experience of watching myself back drunk, acting terribly, I was on Adderall at some point. Sometimes you can see veins popping out of my neck and my face. I was not sleeping a lot. I was partying like crazy. I mean, I'm an alcoholic and a cocaine addict like no doubt. Um, so, yeah. I mean, it was a mirror in my life that I wasn't ready to see yet. But had I not taken that seriously, I wouldn't be talking to you right now. I wouldn't be alive like that's just how

27:09  
I wonder if that helped in that journey too. With sobriety, not everyone gets an opportunity. I mean, obviously we I can kind of hearken back in my mind to the David hasselhos moment when he's with his daughters eating a hamburger, laying on the rug. It was like sort of a pivotal moment for him to see himself with his kids, but to see like 45 hour at a time, episodes of your behavior that that says a lot about you and your strength and your ability to be forgiving of yourself, like, I need to say that to you, because it's very impressive. A lot of people might never even want to look at those things like, I don't want to see it that kind of a thing. No,

27:53  
totally. I mean, I'm not gonna sit here and say it was easy, you know? I think, yeah, the pain and shame and embarrassment and guilt about my behavior and things that I put on display, I'm still working through some of that. I mean, there's stuff that it's just not who I am. I'm not proud of how I've represented myself and how I've treated other people. And yeah, so there's, it's, it's painful at times, but I've taken it seriously. I really care how I treat other people. I really care about how I, you know, contribute to the group of friends. And, yeah, I mean, I had to be honest with myself about what was really going on. And to your point about David asilov, I mean, I knew I was anybody who knew me has experienced, like, my crazy party boy stuff, but I didn't. I always thought I was the man. It was the cool guy. You know, everybody liked me. But then you watch it back on TV, and I'm like, I even hate myself, you know, I did. I didn't I this is true. The seasons one through four, I would watch the show back and drink alcohol and and do cocaine while watching the show, because I just was unable to really deal with what I was watching. And of course, here I am watching myself act crazy, and then I'm acting crazy, and there's no healing in that at all. I was just making it worse and worse. So that's what I was doing. That's

29:10  
such a weird, like Inception level moment, yeah. Well, how do you so? And then so there's the people who you're on the show with, obviously, and they know how filming and everything is, but your friends who aren't on reality TV, and your family, how do they feel about this? Was there ever a point at which, no your mom, who was a fixture on the show, is like, you gotta get off this show. You gotta stop doing this.

29:33  
I mean, no one's ever said get off the show. It's been more about like, Get your shit together so you don't put things on display on the show I don't know like I, I grew up in Pittsburgh and I anybody like I said, anybody who knows me growing up like my superlative I believe in seventh or eighth grade was most likely to be on TV. Okay, went to Syracuse University and studied television, radio and film where I'm sitting. It's not that much of a surprise as some friends that really know me. Like that. I like to be on camera. I wanted to do this stuff, but to be in the position I am now, where a lot of what's on camera is like, not ideal. My mom, early on, she calls me and she's like, she's like, it's not you, like you're on steroids or something. You know, she had a hard time watching it back, and she even joked she would throw things at the TV. Oh, now, you know, it's Pittsburgh. We throw things at the TV, feeler games, Penguin games, you know. But, um, my mother definitely had some thoughts, but one of the funnier ones, and I just bring it up recently because I saw him. He's one of my best friend's fathers, and he works in the movie and film industry, and he calls me after, like, season one, or he watched a couple episodes. I got a voicemail. He's like, Hey, Carl, I love your character on summer house, like, it's a great character for you. And I'm like, That's me, not a character. So, yeah, it's been interesting having close friends and family watch you in a way that they may never have watched. And I, trust me, I have close friends of mine that go I hated you too. I hated myself as well. Like I'm I watch it, I watch the show just like everybody else. I mean, my favorite is, is Ben Kyle, and always will be to watch. I think Kyle is just unbelievably entertaining and so authentic. So I root for people too, but I was not rooting for myself for sure. Yeah,

31:22  
that's fair. I

31:24  
quit drinking. I didn't do drugs, but I've been sober 10 years this August. Love that so inspiring. I'm a musician, and I've been doing this for such a long time, but I think back to some of the shit that I got up to, honest to God, Carl, if I'd been filmed, it was bad enough that people had snapshots of me, like on the bus or like the look on my face. It was almost like someone had walked in and taken over my body, having said all that would never be the person that I am today. I'm extremely proud of myself. I own my own shit. I'm very I'm a person of my word, and I'm actually the person that I always aspired to be. So I'm wondering, when you look at your the success and the shit that you've been through, I mean, it's a major accomplishment. Anyone that I meet that has done what you have done. I am on my knees paying you homage, because there's a choice that you make one day. Mine was benign of what happened to me to make me go. It wasn't a big thing. People assume it's like, you crashed your fucking car. You killed somebody.

32:27  
Because, unfortunately, some people's rock bottom is that moment, and that's almost too

32:32  
late, yeah. I guess my long winded question is, what was your moment to kind of go? Listen, I want to keep doing the show. I'm involved in this. This is a career that I love. What was the moment that was like, Dude,

32:44  
stop. So I never got the connection between like that I had to drink to be on summer house or, like party to be on the show. So I think that's, yeah, that's what's like, kind of expected. But I think people saw enough of my behavior, and I saw enough of it to realize that, like, I don't drink and do drugs like everybody else and I also was becoming increasingly depressed, anxious, financially despair. I got fired. Relationships were going south, resentments with my dad, mom, brother, all of it. So my falling on my knees had nothing to do with reality TV, really. I mean, it was the reality TV world that actually amplified the need to get help. But, I mean, the pivotal thing for me is I was, you know, 2019 It was very dark. I was drinking and partying a ton, going into 2020 obviously the world kind of shut down in March, yeah, and then I decided I needed to get help. But I wasn't like, ready to say I need to get sober. I'm like, I'm gonna stop drinking just beer. I'm gonna not drink wine. Anybody who has a problem knows that that is very short lived, at least for my personal experience. Oh,

34:00  
no, I can relate. If I didn't, if I didn't drink rum, I was good to go. If I didn't

34:06  
drink whiskey or vodka, I was fine, but, oh, I hear you. But over time, that didn't work. But you know, 2020, was a rough year for a lot of people, a lot of isolation, but I took that as like a starting point of trying to get my shit together. But good for you. It wasn't until later that summer, you know, I was in the summer house, and I got a phone call that my brother had overdosed and died. Yeah. So that was, for me, a huge kick in the balls. And just like our family, tragic beyond belief. And I don't I sound matter of fact about it right now, but it's, it's been one of the hardest things I've ever been through my life. Was he older, younger, younger than you. He was five years older than me, and had a long career of drug issues and mental stuff, but, um, you know, I was, we both were kind of in parallel paths. He struggled with other substances. Mine were kind of the cool ones, his or like, the ones you're like, oh my god, that's so. Like horrible, even though we're both equally horrible.

35:01  
But it's funny how some are very socially acceptable and kind of cool and party drugs, and then there's some like that are completely off the table. And then now you're, you've got a problem. It's funny. It's that's a really great point you make about how people perceive certain drugs, totally.

35:21  
And I, you know, kind of had the perception like you're less than if you're that. And, yeah, so, I mean, after, you know, my brother, we lost my brother, I went on a just, an absolute, just terror of trying to heal the sadness and the depression and the anxiety of it all. I couldn't believe that. I that knowing my brother was gone, but also I found out while filming the show. I mean, the cameras were on my face while I'm learning, you know, you can It

35:52  
was crazy. I mean, I obviously, I watch every season, but I watched that, and I thought that is such a strange experience to go through, because you, you obviously seem to handle it quite well. Like, well, I don't even know what that means, but like, you're because you're on camera, so what are you really going to do? But it did speak to, I think, how much the fans really root for you, and because you are willing to share that and to go there, and you don't, you don't cover it up, you'll, you'll really get in there. And I think that that level of grief can be such a connector for people, because who amongst us hasn't experienced some form of loss, that it becomes this, like, deeply relatable thing that isn't just about sending it on weekends, like it gives you an added depth that I think is really something special for the show? Totally.

36:41  
No. I mean, I'm grateful to have more depth. I would take my brother back in a heartbeat to not have that. Yes, yeah, but yeah. I mean, it was a massive wake up call for me. But, you know, you'd think the day I learned about my brother that I I'm gonna get sober. I'm never drinking again. No, I drank a half gallon of gin and got fucked up. After we wrapped that season, season five, I went back to my Soho apartment, and I would drink and use cocaine by myself all hours of the day, because I couldn't deal with the sadness and pain of my brother being gone. I couldn't deal with some of the sadness and pain of like, how am I still alive and he's, yeah, I was doing really survivor guilt, exactly, risky behavior. But it wasn't until January of 2021, I hit rock bottom. Like legit hit rock bottom. I have shared this story a few times, but you know, the long story of it is, I just was drinking a lot of red wine by myself. Started doing cocaine by myself, which is was a normal thing for me, but I drank about five to six bottles of red wine and did a just a massive amount of cocaine, and

37:50  
in a night, yes, holy shit, so

37:54  
I kind of went crazy. I called people that you're not supposed to call, but it was my cry for help. I woke up in a I mean, I don't really know exactly what happened, but I woke up with like, 100 missed calls. I was basically fully clothed on top of my bed, covered in sweat, and had a bunch of people concerned about me. And Kyle cook came over to my apartment a few days after that, and obviously Kyle and I were best friends, but we hadn't had this kind of, like, this kind of conversation before where he came over and he's like, you're gonna die, like, you gotta get fucking like, you gotta get your shit. Like, no more coke. Like you're done, you're done. Like, he like, gave, like, really gave it to me, and I needed that. It kind of makes me emotional a little bit, just because I had a lot of people that knew but didn't just kind of, it's Carl, you know, they just didn't want to put their foot in front of mine because they I was a lot that they were worried I was going to flip out, or maybe not admit that I had an issue. But Kyle always was someone that saw a lot of the issues. I mean, you've seen some of those things play out with me for getting my laptop showing up to where it coked up. It's a true story. Many of those stories are all actually true, but Kyle was always very willing to give me grace. He's always willing to help me just he knew who I was inside. I think he wanted to. He just had to tell me like it was tough, but I needed to hear that so I haven't touched alcohol or hard drugs since that day, January 6, 2021

39:25  
with so much growth happening, obviously, and growth happening on the show, everyone's getting older. Do you think that the show because the theme of it being like summer house, we're all going to go in the share house and go out every weekend? Do you think the theme of it could ever pivot a little bit more to focusing on your day to day lives in the city, because you're launching soft bar? There's a lot going on in the city, more than just partying in the summer house. Do you think that would ever be like a natural pivot? I

39:47  
mean, I think so. I mean, it's funny, like we do film a fair amount in the city, is just what gets used and what kind of makes sense. Like last this past week's episode with my friends and family event at soft bar. I. It was nice to see some of the New York City stuff, and, you know, kind of our day to day. But I I'm going to be in the Hamptons, regardless of the show happening or not. Like that's what I do in the summers, because I love being out there. Now, would I be there every weekend dressing up at a costume every Saturday night one weekend? No, but I love being out in the Hamptons. It's a big part of just who I am, but I think the show certainly will evolve, and could to incorporate maybe more of that New York City lifestyle we got. We're all getting older, but I think it's natural for the show to evolve. But let's be honest, like the partying and drinking culture is not the same as it was in 2017 No, we, I mean, I pre game, the pre game in 2017 now, people are like, it's okay to take a break and not drink alcohol at a party. And everybody's like, that's cool. Like eight years ago, you would have been laughed at and kicked out of the party. So I think the culture of it all is kind of shifting. So I almost feel like the true summer house model, like, I don't know if people would want to watch eight people in a house just get blackout drunk and like, do wild, wild, wild. It's like, not even like, you'd rather watch, like, good, organic stories and things. It's not less about like, blacking out and getting

41:13  
completely Yeah, I think people do want to see those connections and those conversations and and, you know, the character development. Listen. Thank you so much for your time. Carl Radke has been our guest. He's launching a alcohol free bar this year. Soft bar. Check that out. Memoir coming in December. Make sure you look for that. Congratulations on your sobriety, on the show and on being just an advocate for being transparent. You're

41:35  
giving me probably more credit than I deserve. I'm very I want to know, but you know what? You could be dead. That's why I take what I do very seriously, because people ask me, they go, how do you do summer house without drinking? And I say, I wouldn't be able to do summer house if I was. Thank

41:46  
you so much, Carl, Thanks, Carl,

41:57  
see what I mean. What an amazing chat with Carl, like I have a crush. Imagine, I know, and imagine watching yourself drunk and high, getting drunk and high in your apartment to the point where your friends literally are saying, dude, you're gonna die if you keep this up. And he just, he still wasn't connecting the dots. But that's trauma, that's loss, that's so many things, and good for him for turning the ship around, because that could have been a real different story for Carl. He was good. Yeah, it was heavy.

42:24  
It was well, because so this was the thing. I was like, sometimes the reality TV intro to people who don't watch reality TV, it can be too fluffy or too like, inside and not really about like, life, and so there's no like, it's like, oh, well, why is Erica fighting with Lisa this season? I'm like, your average listener is not probably going to care about that, but I think he has enough life going on that he's willing to talk about that other cast members wouldn't touch. Like there are cast members who I see on the show, and you can tell maybe they're struggling with their own things, but they're not going to be as upfront about it as he is, for whatever reason, when I watched the episode where he found out that his brother died, I was in tears

43:02  
anyway, as always, we've got some we've got some voice notes from our listeners, and we've got a few comments this week. So without any further ado, here's your voice notes. Let's start with Nancy.

43:13  
Good morning. Caitlin, Sarah and Jen, I just want to share my excitement. Jen, I just bought tickets to go see you in Ottawa on June 3. I can't wait. Thank you. Thank you for coming to Ottawa. I love you. I love you all. Thank you for your podcast. Thank you for everything that you do. All of you. I'm so excited.

43:34  
Thank you. Bye. I want what she's having. I was

43:39  
just gonna say, as someone who used to work in radio that's like the radio winner that you crave when you give something away on the air, because they are genuinely so excited.

43:46  
This next one is a response to the misconceptions that men have about women. Hi,

43:52  
Jen, Jennifer from Rocky view county here. Was just listening to the podcast and your section about misconceptions that men have about women, and it reminded me of a sign that I saw in a washroom in Ferny BC at the distillery, and it was a co Ed washroom, and the sign said how to prevent sexual assault. And it was actually all things that men could do. And it was a great sign. And I hope that a few men read that, and it makes them think about things anyways. Love the podcast, Tata, for now, wow.

44:28  
I wish we could have found out what the list of all the time things were in the washrooms. No, I think that's important. When you're sitting in the John, it literally, it's the greatest place to advertise. You put it up in there. I love reading bathroom graffiti. It's my fave.

44:43  
We have a lot of comments from Patreon, and come on over to Patreon. We're gonna read a bunch of them, but I thought I'd leave us with this one. So Christy says, like lots of Canadians, my family will be supporting a Canadian vacation this summer. We live in Calgary. Our kids have been to Vancouver and Toronto as well. Where would you. Ladies, recommend taking a summer vacation in Canada. I feel like Caitlin and I might say the same thing. Here you guys

45:05  
go. I always say the Eastern Townships of Quebec,

45:07  
I know you. I'm telling you. Are you being paid? No, I'm not, and I should be by the Bucha. Bucha,

45:16  
no, but the the Tourism Board of Quebec really should sponsor me already because I am their biggest proponent. I cannot get enough of this region, and it is so different from other parts of Canada, yet so familiar. It's got lakes, it's got mountains, it's got things to do, it's got places to go, but it has incredible food to eat. You can get a better bottle of wine at a gas station there that you can at most LCBO is in a downtown core setting here, like it's just

45:41  
Eastern Townships, folks. Sarah go. I thought

45:44  
that we would have agreed on like Pei Prince Edward Island is also so cute and quaint. I used to go up there for a country music festival with Sirius XM every year. So I really got to know it. If you can go to Cavendish, Yes, such a sweet little spot. I'm also a huge fan of the mountains, and you need a friend like our friend, our mutual friend, Danny Strong, someone who knows all the little lakes, who doesn't even need a map, just has a big truck and says, ladies, hop in and you never know where you're gonna end up. But if you can do that away from like, the touristy spots in the mountains, like, don't get me wrong, the Fairmont Banff beautiful, gorgeous, like your jaw will be on the floor, but if you got a friend who can take you to some other spots even better? Well,

46:27  
because I'm in the West, it's what I know. You know. You know what you know, anywhere in the Okanagan Valley. And my dad used to make a joke all the time. He said, Oh, the Irish lakes, the old cannigans. And I always believed him so. But Osoyoos colonna Vernon, when you drive through those passes, they have tons of roadside attractions. Like, if you landed in Calgary, rented a little camper and then drove out to Vancouver, that would be the most wonderful, fantastical, whimsical, 10 day trip that you could take, especially if you have kids, there's so many things. Yeah, I mean, there's different ways you can go. You can go the Crows Nest pass. You can go by where the the radium hot springs are like, there's just so many things to do. There's only a couple ways through the mountains. From Calgary, you got a couple of choices, but the tunnels that go underneath the mountains and you know, the food and the fruit stands in the summertime, very much like Ontario, it's so enticing to see those giant heads of corn and big ripe cherries and peaches and apples. So folks, we got it all here in Canada. And to any of our American friends listening, we welcome you with open arms. I think you will have a very easy time coming into Canada. I don't think you need to worry coming this way. Come and see us. We have three weeks of summer, so do it fast. It starts at a Friday. It ends on Wednesday. So really make sure your plan your trip appropriately. But anyway, thanks for listening to the to the podcast, folks. We appreciate it as always, we want to encourage you to join Patreon. Tonight, as we are recording this, we're having our second book bag conversation on the book tier of Patreon, and we're talking about eastbound, which is a fantastic book. And if you want to check out what our book is, Sarah, I'm going to have you just tell people one more time to get on that train this month,

48:20  
a Two Spirit journey, the Autobiography of a lesbian, Ojibwe Cree elder, it's by Mani chacabi, and we'll have links in the show notes, discussions

48:28  
to follow. Wonderful I mean, we're expanding our horizons. You guys are fantastic. We appreciate our listeners. Come and see us on YouTube. You can see clothes that we're wearing. You can get makeup tips. You can see what our hair is like. I try not have snot my nose. For YouTube. We go the extra mile for Patreon.

48:43  
I'm leaving you with a teaser. I have a question for you guys about sharing a room with someone you don't know. Okay,

48:48  
well, that's our show. We'll see you next time. Totally Do you?